• socsa@piefed.social
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    11 days ago

    They should give us live action remakes, but R-rated.

    Beauty and the Bestiality: No Ass is Safe.

    Moana: All Grown Up.

    The Incredibles: Come for the Milf.

    Bambi’s Revenge.

    The Iron Giant Dong.

    Lady and the Tramp.

    • roofuskit@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      I can’t help but feel like this entire comment was just so you could drop that last one.

    • nibbler@discuss.tchncs.de
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      11 days ago

      Related: in most of Europe, moana is called vaiana. Moana is the protected brand/name of some porn actress.

      So go find “Moana: all grown up”, there is a chance it exists already 😋

    • Maven (famous)@lemmy.zip
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      11 days ago

      The Iron Giant wasnt Disney but actually Warner Bros. (Though it was made by Brad Bird who is most known for his work at Disney)

    • yessikg@fedia.io
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      10 days ago

      If Disney had hired Guillermo Del Toro for the Beauty and the Beast remake, we would have had a masterpiece a la The Shape of Water

  • mrmaplebar@fedia.io
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    11 days ago

    Please get it through your heads: animation is good. It can do anythong. Nobody needs a live action remake of an animated movie or show, especially since it’s all full of GC animation anyway.

    Just make animation again and take some risks.

  • reddig33@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    I guess they won’t be making a Moana Broadway musical. The Disney cycle is broken! There goes the chance for The Rock to win a Tony award.

    • Lemmayng@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      I saw an elementary school production of Moana Jr, and it had more heart, soul and accurate costume design than Disney managed to waste $100 million on.

    • Lemmayng@lemmy.world
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      11 days ago

      That’s because Jim Henson put more heart and soul into the Turtles than Michael Bay.

    • SparroHawc@piefed.world
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      10 days ago

      That movie had no right being as good as it is. It’s STILL good, despite the 90’s camp. Or perhaps partly because of it.

      None of the big studios wanted it, because they expected it would bomb at the box office, so it was funded - with only a $7m budget - by New Line Cinema, who had no interest in riding herd on the creators. The lack of executive meddling allowed them to make what they wanted to make. (And, of course, Henson did an amazing job with the turtles and Splinter.)

  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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    11 days ago

    Nope, keep throwing that money away like drunken Roman emperors. Eventually they’ll collapse under their own weight.

  • Murse@slrpnk.net
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    11 days ago

    Honestly I think the bigger problem for theater revenue is less the quality of the film, and more the theaters themselves.

    They charge three months rent for a bag of popcorn, a kidney for the ticket, and the remainder of your life of slave labor for medium soda.

    Even smuggling in the noms, the cost of the ticket alone isn’t worth the experience… the experience being shitty, squeaky seats, the smell of butter, cigarettes, and BO, obnoxious customers who are incapable of shutting the fuck up, and some fucking redneck sitting right in front of you with a 10 gallon cowboy hat that’s obstructing about a quarter of the screen.

    The live action lazy remakes are just icing on the cake.

    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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      11 days ago

      My son is HUGE cinephile, but he has stopped going to theaters. They are far too expensive, and there aren’t even enough good movies to justify their monthly pass.

      So he just pirates everything, which I fully support 100%. He’s a Pirate Nepo-Baby.

      • I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org
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        10 days ago

        We used to have a great cinema where I live. They pioneered the living room theater experience. The top two rows in each theater were 21+, waiters came around to take your order. Full restaurant service, reasonably priced.

        Then the owner got greedy and tried to do an IPO. AMC bought it all in a hostile takeover. Now it’s another janky theater.

  • Doubleohdonut@lemmy.ca
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    11 days ago

    Answer: the Disney corporation will survive just fine with this loss which is a tiny drop in the bucket for them.