The 18-year-old high school student said she unzipped her hoodie to show she had breasts after a Buffalo Wild Wings server didn't believe she is a woman.
      • Alaik@lemmy.zip
        4·
        10 months ago

        Someone pulls that shit on one of my kids and theyre getting sprayed alright. .45 acp is close enough to capsaicin right?

    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world
      639·
      10 months ago

      Telling someone to leave someplace isn’t assault. The person was clearly an asshole/bigot, but she didn’t ask the lady to show her boobs to prove she was a woman, she told her she had to leave because she can’t be in there.

      • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
        312·
        10 months ago

        They don’t want to know what happened, they want to be angry.

        If the headline is more enraging than the article, they’ll believe that instead.

          • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
            12·
            10 months ago

            I do, I think this is more bigotry that has become commonplace because of Republican rhetoric against trans people. The law is dumb and the server trying to enforce it is probably a bigot and a terrible person.

            That being said, people are reacting to the headline. The person I was responding to was correctly pointing out that the headline is misleading. It’s easy to point out how bigoted these laws are without completely fabricating information (like the headline is doing).

            Pointing out misinformation does not automatically mean the person is defending the actions. Pointing out misinformation is how we keep from becoming like Republican voters, living in a world build out of lies and spin. Downvoting people who are pointing out that you’re being lied to is ignorant and actively makes the misinformation problem worse because it deranks the comments that would help people be better informed.

            If you want to litigate the headline, here’s the snippets from the article.

            From the article:

            When she went to the restroom, a server followed her inside and banged on the stall door while saying: “This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here,” […] when she came out of the stall at Buffalo Wild Wings and told the server, “I am a lady,” she said, the server responded, “You have to get out now,”[…] Mudra said she felt she had to prove to the server that she is a woman, so she unzipped her hoodie to show she has breasts. The server didn’t say anything in response but left the restroom

            The server didn’t ‘force her to prove her gender’, the server banged on the door and said that men couldn’t be in the restroom (which, again, is bigoted and enraging). The woman came out of the stall and unzipped her hoodie to show her breasts to the server who left without saying anything.

            The headline is clearly incorrect and written to amplify outrage (in order to drive traffic for ad revenue)

            • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
              41·
              10 months ago

              So an adult confronted a child in the restroom, banging on the door and demanding she prove her sex. The implied threat was that if she didn’t, she would be thrown from the restroom or the restaurant entirely.

              You are using a deliberately thick-headed definition of “force.” The word “force” does not literally mean physical force. It means coercion, manipulation, requiring someone to do something against their will for fear of consequences.

              I’m taught courses before. I don’t "force " my students to take exams. I’m not going to go to their home and frog march them at gunpoint into my classroom to take my exam. But anyone in my class is forced to take any exam I give, if they wish to pass the class. It’s optional in a philosophical sense, but not in the practical sense.

              You’re splitting hairs because this is a trans-related topic, nothing more.

              • FauxLiving@lemmy.world
                14·
                9 months ago

                So an adult confronted a child in the restroom,

                We don’t know the age of the server and 18 is an adult in the US.

                banging on the door and demanding she prove her sex.

                These are the only recorded statements of the server based on the victim’s testimony.

                “This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here,” […] “You have to get out now,”

                Which of these sentences is 'demanding she prove her sex?

                The implied threat was that if she didn’t, she would be thrown from the restroom or the restaurant entirely.

                There was no ‘if’ (see the two sentences above), she was told to get out of the restroom.

                I’m taught courses before. I don’t "force " my students to take exams. I’m not going to go to their home and frog march them at gunpoint into my classroom to take my exam. But anyone in my class is forced to take any exam I give, if they wish to pass the class. It’s optional in a philosophical sense, but not in the practical sense.

                They are required to take the test, you do not “force” them. If someone said ‘Teacher forces children to take test’, the implication is that they didn’t have a choice because you are forcing them.

                Here too, the woman was not “forced” she chose to show her breasts. Forcing implies the inability to do otherwise. The people in the comment section are reacting to the headline as if the woman had no choice but to show her breasts to the server. This is not true.

                You’re splitting hairs because this is a trans-related topic, nothing more.

                🙄 In the courses you taught, did you force your students to learn the term ad homenim?

  • moobythegoldensock@infosec.pub
    1421·
    10 months ago

    This was by design. Anti-trans fear-mongering was always meant to punish men who don’t look manly enough and women who don’t look like 50s housewives. The cruelty is the point.

  • 18107@aussie.zoneEnglish
    1253·
    10 months ago

    It was never about women or safety. It was always about control, fear, and punishment.

    • greenfire@lemmings.worldEnglish
      12·
      10 months ago

      Cowardly attacks on the most vulnerable for criminally-immoral political advantage. Leave our neighbors alone!

      • 18107@aussie.zoneEnglish
        211·
        10 months ago

        The Government trying to prevent trans people from using the “wrong” bathroom.

        They claimed it was to protect women, but really it just hurts trans people and women by allowing strangers to demand women prove their gender.

        • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
          11·
          9 months ago

          I think that’s a fairly modern issue. I don’t think the idea of having separate restrooms for genders was ever meant to be about punishment when restrooms came about. I’d be interested to see evidence about this punishment theory though if there is any.

      • WoodScientist@lemmy.world
        61·
        9 months ago

        Bathroom access has long been used to punish undesirable groups and to keep them from public life. Women who chose to work outside the home were punished in the 19th century by not having access to restrooms. People of color were punished in the 20th century for daring to exist in society by being denied restroom access at white establishments. And now people are trying to punish trans and gender non-conforming people by denying them restroom access.

        In case you haven’t connected the dots, the obsession over restrooms isn’t actually about restrooms. If you can restrict the ability of undesirables to access public restrooms, you can effectively bar them from public life. It’s a way of criminalizing innocent people without actually having to arrest or throw them in prison.

        And yes, these laws do effectively ban trans people from any bathroom. I’m a trans person myself, but you wouldn’t know unless I told you. I would be violating the law if I used the women’s restroom in Florida. But if I went into the men’s, I would have people throwing me out, telling me I’m in the wrong bathroom. Hell, I could be arrested for trying to use the men’s room in Florida, the very bathroom the law requires me to use. There’s no easy way for me to even prove that I am trans. My legal documents have all been documented, and I went far enough in transition I couldn’t even prove my trans status by dropping my pants. And yet, the law in Florida requires me to use the men’s restroom. So if I use a restroom in Florida, I either have to violate the law and risk arrest if somehow someone were to figure it out and report me. Or I could follow the law and still face harassment, assault, and possible arrest.

        Truthfully, to me, the law in Florida has done exactly what it was intended to do. I simply won’t set foot in the state of Florida, or any other state with a bathroom ban. The government of Florida has effectively barred me, an American citizen, from the right to visit the state. And all I did to deserve this banishment was be born trans.

  • Smoogs@lemmy.worldEnglish
    95·
    10 months ago

    It’s gross that the victim of this scenario is now made public and yet the sexual abuser identity here is protected? Wtf.

    • rumba@lemmy.zipEnglish
      41·
      10 months ago

      It’s also worth mentioning Buffalo wild wings in the comments. Because they apparently don’t have enough policy to keep their servers from trying to gender check people.

  • MrSulu@lemmy.mlEnglish
    76·
    10 months ago

    Younger people are generally easier to groom. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing, The Hitler Youth movement

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      4·
      10 months ago

      It’s worse… My understanding is that you didn’t really have much of a choice about joining the Hitler Youth

      • MrSulu@lemmy.mlEnglish
        1·
        9 months ago

        Indeed, in 1922 certainly more like heavily encouraged boy scouts / girl guides. Be there or be a bit excluded from the social club. Compulsory by 1936. Trump in 2025 is starting with the schools, “burning the books” and imprinting his way. It won’t be long. We already have the SA with ICE and expect the SS. History is repeating whether by plan or otherwise.

  • samus12345@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    651·
    10 months ago

    And this is in a state with no anti-trans bathroom laws. This server has no excuse other than being a complete piece of shit. Wish they’d name and shame her.

    • HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com
      42·
      10 months ago

      Based on the article the server is a woman.

      “She made me feel very uncomfortable,” Mudra said. “After that, I just don’t like going in public bathrooms. I just hold it in. … I want to be able to use the bathroom in peace.”

  • Empricorn@feddit.nlEnglish
    48·
    10 months ago

    Welcome to Republicans’ America. This comes right after Trump’s administration started forcing trans folks out of the military, yet denying them retirement benefits. People with 15-18 years of service to our country that had been previously approved for early retirement have now had that rescinded because they are “medically unfit”. The hatred is in full force…

    https://www.reuters.com/legal/government/us-air-force-denies-early-retirement-group-transgender-service-members-2025-08-07/

    • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.caEnglish
      17·
      10 months ago

      having their retirement stolen from them is fucking vile

      I’m actually surprised that I have not heard about people dying as a result of this

            • Ithral@lemmy.blahaj.zone
              21·
              9 months ago

              I know, which is why the packages are being denied. The packages won’t be approved because they don’t meet standards. It’s bullshit because the standards changed under them, I was in a similar boat when I was in. But that’s how the system works

              • Empricorn@feddit.nlEnglish
                2·
                9 months ago

                That’s a weird passive-voice way to say “the system was weaponized against them.”

  • renrenPDX@lemmy.world
    45·
    9 months ago

    If you’re a minor being questioned like this, start screaming PEDO. Guaranteed they back down once they realize what she said and what they’re doing is quite disturbing

    • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
      131·
      9 months ago

      Guaranteed they back down once they realize what she said and what they’re doing is quite disturbing

      Cruelty isn’t a bug, it’s a feature. MAGA has a massive cruelty hardon. The dumbth voted for this because they are seething with resentment at being made to feel stupid (by the “intellectual elites”) and backwards (by progressives) and ignorant (by the informed) and intolerant (by the woke). You can literally hear what they’re pissed about in the names that they call people. They WANT people hurt. They WANT revenge. THIS is what the dumbth want.

      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
        3·
        9 months ago

        Well, I want THEM hurt too! I want them to get the peeeerfect caricature of what they believe in, and watch them suffer under.

        • Maple Engineer@lemmy.world
          4·
          9 months ago

          I want them to be smarter and less hateful. They would be a lot happier if they worked to improve themselves instead of trying to tear everyone else down.

        • Bennyboybumberchums@lemmy.worldBanned from community
          3·
          9 months ago

          You would think. But no, apparently most human beings are kinda weird, and mostly stupid. Just look at how people behave behind the wheel of a car, when they are driving past an accident. It could be someone turned into a meat crayon, or looking like Anakin Skywalker after Obi Wan cuts his legs off. People not only break sharply to see whats going on, everyone behind them does as well. Usually creating very slowed down traffic for miles if there enough of them.

          I think it has something to do with getting involved. Rape, you have to get involved. Pedo, you have to get involved, fire? You can just watch. I mean, dont quote me on that. Thats just a guess as to why it happens.

    • derfunkatron@lemmy.worldEnglish
      18·
      10 months ago

      It’s because trans technology is so advanced that they all pass undetected. /s

      In all seriousness, I think it reflects just how distorted the anti-trans bigot’s perception of reality is and how enabled they feel to act on those perceptions. These people believe that trans people are more common than they actually are and they are hyper-fixated on proving it.

      I think your critique of the “not a problem until it affects me” nature of this is valid; however, this also signifies that transphobia is becoming less rhetorical and more actionable. That is terrifying for anyone who doesn’t meet the arbitrary socially acceptable expressions of gender.

      My hope here is that more people will come to realize how stupid transphobia and gender/bathroom policing is when they start to realize that it affects them, too.

    • Bunbury@feddit.nlEnglish
      6·
      9 months ago

      Pretty sure you’re right that there’s more articles about cis people being “inconvenienced”. However I can think of at least 3 reasons off of the top of my head:

      • there are way more cis people than trans people. While I strongly suspect that a larger percentage of the trans community is affected compared to cis people, purely by numbers it’s still more likely to affect cis people more frequently just because there’s so much more of them. Depending on which statistics you listen to only 0.5% - 3% of people are trans.

      • trans people (and especially the ones who do not pass particularly well) are more likely to avoid public bathrooms now. Cis people are more likely to not expect any issues and not think twice.

      • Apparently a decently large part of the right wing voter base would agree with trans people being denied entry into bathrooms. It’s what people decided this “law” was for in the first place (not that that this law was even applicable here). However if you show those same people that someone they empathize with also is negatively affected that’s more likely to lead to change.

    • jj4211@lemmy.world
      5·
      9 months ago

      One thing is that these are the stories that actually have some vague chance at swaying a person that thinks we should be policing trans use of bathrooms. If they see more trouble and harassment of the class of people they think they are protecting, maybe part of them has to see it’s doing even more against their cause than the alternative.

      Another is that trans people are relatively more rare, so it just makes plain sense that this will usually happen to a cisgender person. If someone thinks that someone seems not to look like their gender, odds still are that they are cisgender just by the numbers.