what the fuck
this is on the offical website
it can’t get any more threatening than thisI’m pretty sure they know exactly what they’re doing.
WHY DID THEY GIVE IT COLOSSUS EYES
Looks like something from the SCP wiki
LOL
I would run for my life.
Run up the spiral stairs.
I’m gonna fuck it.
ಠ_ಠ
spoiler
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
Yeah it needs a fleshlight mount on the backside and I’ll take it to a cliff where it has no choice but to push back.
Well SatansMaggotyCumFart, you have clearly thought about this quite in detail!
Honestly the only surprising part here is that you haven’t.
Only if it doesn’t fuck you first
Either way I win.
Humans are so adorable
Yay I can hardly wait for hordes of these things owned by governments and corporations to be armed and active around the globe!
I mean at least this will replace forcing people to kill eachother. right? RIGHT?
VIbes of the 7 foot tall 7/11 stocking robot.
Why does it need four legs??? Why centaur??? Can we not???
Two-legged walk cycles are very complicated and unstable.
Wheels work great for indoor spaces, roads, tracks etc.
Well, this isn’t limited to indoor spaces, then.
Because it needs to be able to run after you no matter the terrain.
Then they need to give those four legs wheels, clearly.
first thing came to my mind are the tachikomas from ghost in the shell for some reason
Yes, that’s the best of both worlds. Terrain capability and speed. As-is, it won’t climb near-vertical walls like a goat anyway.
It’s meant for forestry work (good luck dodging an unexpectedly falling tree fast enough if the chainsaw hands get stuck or a branch pierces the pneumatics: bye bye expensive robot). Yes, it’s so scary I just casually mentioned CHAINSAW HANDS.
You didn’t ask, but the horns are so it can’t fit through the door (and kill you)
Actually, according to the website the horns are cameras providing a wider view so it is more capable of doing its job. Very functionally necessary. 😁
It clearly doesn’t understand how to open a door, so it’s all good (right now).
It doesn’t know how to duck?
Of course it doesn’t know how to duck. It’s a centaur, not a duck.
No no, you don’t undestand, it’s just to slow it down.
That’s not a centaur, thats an abomination.
It shoots a slippery white gel from its undercarriage to cause crimilals to slip up and get confused and trapped and hnnnngh
Like, once you get over the terror of the very real concern that this could be used against you to injure you, it’s actually pretty cool.
I mean, imagine if you owned it, you could ride it to work, and it could use its arms to carry weapons to attack other bad centaur riders on your way into the office.
Road rage incidents become jousting matches
Okay, so… Aside from the creepy terrifying robot thing, what’s happening in this picture? Is that a door with a full plate glass window… in a wall between two hallways? Is the bot just standing in a large empty room staring through a door without opening it?
It’s to show that it can’t fit through a standard door quickly.
https://www.satyress.com/#safety
Threehalves will be substantially slowed if attempting to navigate a standard American 32"x80" door, and cannot turn around in a 42" wide hallway or enter a door orthogonal to the hallway. Larger horns can be fit to prevent any passage through pedestrian doors.
It’s hard to tell if the whole thing is a joke or not. How should much focus should be put on the name satyress
They say that they’ve made it look scary so that people will not underestimate how dangerous a robot with extreme strength could be to humans around it. Which actually sort of makes sense. It’s designed to look like a warning basically to reduce the chance of it accidentally injuring someone while working.
alright, i actually kinda fuck with nightmare robots thats cool
OK WORLD let’s just get out in front of this, Dungeon Crawler Carl is a series of fantasy books, NOT a treatise on how to run society in the future…
Something something Torment Nexus
Finally we’re getting to the real sexbots
Oh good, you can put chainsaws in the wrist holes
