Russia still turret toss world champignon, number one!

Dibs on being the middle one. Eating ass AND having my ass eaten? Don’t threaten me with a good time!

Aww, widdle baby snowflake is cosplaying as badass military now? Or at least trying to…

No, Harry, yer an alcoholic

Technically, any chemically induced change of state of mind that doesn’t require a third party to supervise, can be considered self medication.

Morning coffee? Self medication. Going for a jog to feel better? Self medication. Getting blackout drunk on your own? Self medication. Midnight wank when you can’t sleep? Self medication.

You know what’s NOT self medication? Taking shrooms or LSD or any other hallucinogenics with a trip sitter.

Merde!

Maybe if I lick the boot hard enough, it won’t be on my own neck? Just maybe, just this one time?

Fallout has always been a commentary about how unregulated capitalism is the ruin of everything. From the very first game.

• Vault-Tec fleeced its customers and double dipped, selling already filled vaults to other corporations to run experiments in them
• WestTek knowingly delivered faulty power armors to the US military, knowing full well that it would result in the deaths of US soldiers in a war which could end the existence of West-Tek itself, but they didn’t care, short term profits trumped long term existence.
• Nuka-Cola literally contained isotopes of radioactive elements as a selling point… not to mention the excessive amount of sugar and caffeine (120% of daily recommended sugar intake per bottle)
• may I remind everyone about the FEV? A literal miracle cure for all viral (bioweapon) infection, but that wasn’t enough, capitalists had to go further and think “but what if we used to mutate the entire population?”

Decades of GTA prepared millions of people to this exact moment.

Given the size of the singular testicle, I think the scales are right-ish.

So… it’s Hitler’s penis?

You don’t need AI to flag emails based on keywords… let’s not make everything about AI please.

Biometrics are an issue because in most jurisdictions (not just the US but globally), you can’t be coerced to provide your password/passcode - but absolutely nothing stops LE from forcing you to provide biometric data to unlock the device.

How mind-numbingly idiotic the DHS can be?

Man sends email to DHS.

Agents later show up, show him the email he sent, and demand he present “his side of the story”.

My dudes in idiocracy, WHAT THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT EMAIL WAS?

Let me help you out: that was “his side of the story”.

Oh, wait a moment. They didn’t show up to gather more information - because that’s idiotic - but to threaten him with their mere presence, and deter any further emails…

You might just get nerve pinched.

Haunting the Hunter is actually quite unique, as instead of the usual 2 character setup, there’s 4 - and one of them is the reader.

Also fair warning it’s super easy to get into these books and keep listening to them… But it can be extremely awkward when you’re e.g. sitting on public transport and a very explicit, very detailed scene comes on.

Glad I could be of help!

Another really good audiobook would be Haunting The Hunter.

Depends on your interest.

For true fantasy in a unique set of worlds, the Fae & Alchemy series (Quicksilver and Brimstone so far) by Callie Hart is my top pick. Really good banter (especially Brimstone), quick paced, and the spice isn’t overwhelming while being pretty damn good when it happens. Oh, and the audiobooks… Anthony Palmini will be sending chills down your spines.

If you want a bit more… occult? I guess would be the best description, certainly more gothic, fantasy series, then The Eating Woods by Keri Lake (Anathema, Eldritch, third book coming this year) was one of my quickest reads and not because it’s short… great story overall, with plenty of plot twists, just be prepared for impossible expectations by the missus (and potentially a piercing parlour appointment for you if she really gets into it…).

Then there’s my current read, a modern, well, not exactly retelling but a twist on Greek mythology, Blood of Hercules/Bonds of Hercules. Haven’t gotten far into it, but so far, so good.

Oh and talking about historical retellings… Raven Kennedy’s The Plated Prisoner series does a mighty Midas retelling. The first book does open with an orgy scene but that’s almost all the spice you’re gonna get in the first two books.

If you’re interested in what most would consider the entry to dark romance - in reality it’s more of a dark romcom really - Lights Out is also a good starting point. Now, this one’s a bit more focused on the spice, and has a bunch of potentially triggering elements (MMC breaks into FMC’s home to record a thirst trap for her before they even meet, then stalks her for a good while, there’s also a murder, and so on), but it’s lightened by the fact that the MMC is essentially a goofy 6’6 golden retriever and has some of the funniest commentaries. Oh, and the knife scene? Chills. Literal chills.

On the same angle, Brynne Weaver has a few similar dark romcom books: Butcher and Blackbird (two serial killers who only target serial killers, set up an annual competition, they fall for each other, there’s a few minor trigger warnings, but the worst part would be the unintentional cannibalism - oh and be prepared to swear off of cookies and cream ice cream for a while…), Leather and Lark (considerably darker, but still a great read/listen), and the final installment, Scythe and Sparrow (I’m gonna be honest with you, this one didn’t catch my fancy that much, I’m maybe 1/4 into the book and it’s been shelved indefinitely for alternatives). Plus riffing off the first book, Tourist Season is a very similar book in tone. Again, great banter, great comedic scenes, and just enough spice to keep things going.

And if you want proper dark romance, Haunting/Hunting Adeline is a solid option by H.D. Carlton (her name will keep popping up, she’s a quite prolific writer). Now mind you these books come with 2-3 page trigger warnings for a reason. The MMC is a psychopath, period.

Finally my most recent read would be I Will Break You by Gigi Styx. The audiobook is okay (I much preferred any of the previously mentioned), but the actual book, to me, was great. Mind you this one has a four page trigger warning (well, only two pages in print but still), with items like “inappropriate use of a thigh bone”. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. It’s a psychological thriller mixed with porn. But the literary description of those scenes is… chef’s kiss

Now, onto the books I can’t recommend:

• ACOTAR by Sarah J Maas. I know this is the entry into romantasy for many, but it’s super dry, not well written (in my opinion), and the main characters are mindnumbingly stupid.
• Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. Yet again another “entry point” series that’s… simply not a good read. The writing is okay but the first half of the so far released trilogy is so predictable, I was heavily considering gambling while reading it just to see if I indeed became a seer or if the writing is just that obvious. Hint: it’s the latter. The spice is quite okay in it but it’s very obviously written for late teens (16-20 age group). And the third book is simply just a drag to get through.

I’ve always had some personal resentment against the guy (nothing to do with his work - a toxic ex was really into his videos a good decade ago and that has left a mark, pun intended), but I still found the movie to be quite enjoyable.

Obviously it’s not a triple A title, the acting is… well, it is what it is, it really reminded me of the Red Alert cutscenes. But overall it’s a solid production, with obviously tons of care for it by the cast.

What Europe needs is its own payment card network to step up against the quasi dupoly of MasterCard and Visa (AmEx and Discovery aren’t that widely used or even available in Europe)