I’ve seen all the terminator love action movies and they all have their charms, but there was something special about one of the weakest of the franchise: Terminator 3 with Nick Stahl.

I liked how the reveal/turn at the climax was that Judgement Day truly was inevitable. everything leading up to the very end made it seem like they might stop it or delay it again. but when they got away from the killer robot to where they general told them to go, the protagonists finally saw that the key to their victory over skynet was not to prevent its nuclear assault on humanity, but to survive it and coordinate with all the various civil defense shelters by communicating key information at a time of absolute chaos and destruction. John Connor was no hardened warrior or robot slayer… he was just the guy who could connect the dots from a secure location under a mountain.

there was a lot of dumb robot booba b.s. in that movie, but the way it ended was almost poetic and caught me completely off guard.

I mean, all ultra nationalist websites should be de-indexed everywhere but that’s no reason to stand in the way of this tremendous and beautiful fine.

that’s powerful knowledge. now I will seem less of a rube when I visit Downton Abbey and have a few unscheduled blowouts.

among family I say the full “diarrhea” because the word is too funny to us and we’re very immature. I often use it as a verb like, “it looked like somebody diarrhea’d all over the place” or when using it as a noun, I pretend like it’s singular, so that one might say, “She was doing diarrheas all afternoon.”

my mom hates this, but my sister and nephew are fully on board for it.

J.R.R. Stroking

my old boss would always insist on a Mac desktop for his work computer, so his computer spend was like 3 times mine and he would upgrade nearly twice as often.

I did video editing, GIS computational analysis, bespoke data processing/management, graphic design for printed resources, and interactive digital interfaces.

he checked his email and struggled to open PDFs. one time I needed him to sign a PDF when no one was around to do it for him. it took him 45 minutes of focused concentration and when he sent it back, it was somehow upside-down, backwards and on the wrong page.

I took a screenshot of it and showed it to people sometimes.

I have been eating better and getting more routine exercise for 2 months and 1 month (respectively) and yesterday/this morning I felt like I noticed a real difference in my appearance. like I looked more how I wanted to look in my mind, which is not a thought I considered having in my 40s.

I don’t track my weight (long story), but my belts have been getting cinched tighter for over a month and I’ve felt a shitload better for a while. I’ve got a routine Drs appointment where I’ll be weighed in, so that will be interesting to see how it’s going by all the indexes.

also, I get paid this week and it will be the first time since the move (2 months ago) where I will be running an actually monthly budget surplus and be able to contribute to savings again (instead of just raiding it).

feels like a lot of things in my personal life are turning a corner and confirming for me that making a huge change later in life (permanently relocating ~1500 miles away, leaving a lot of great people behind, new/more stable job for slightly less pay to start) was absolutely the right move. the new gig isn’t perfect and I do miss my work friends terribly, but it’s so much less toxic and dysfunctional. and no longer having to allocate the mental-emotional-social bandwidth to accommodate that toxicity anymore seems to have freed me up to take better care of myself and tackle life’s challenges better.

I look forward more to the future, making new friends, discovering new places, and being of service to my new community. it’s like a third act to my life has suddenly begun in a moment of desperate chaos, but now things are settling again enough for me to rebuild it all back better with more wisdom and introspection. and I’m here writing it and reading it at the same time, curiously optimistic and wondering where it will go.

an important feature of American life is to believe that all the wealth being concentrated in urban communities is because that is the most logical configuration of wealth.

the world class city is the market for all the materials of the world and all the logistical infrastructure exists in service to drawing the materials extracted from the hinterlands and cramming them into its bottomless mouth.

so what if the communities of the hinterlands falter or fail, it is their own fault for not being efficient enough. the world is infinite and there will always be more desperate locations eager to plug in and take their place. and if not, if some resource is too unique or rare, the concentration of accumulated capital in the world class city can invest in reopening, repopulating and restaffing those communities with however many mercenaries and drones it takes to fix the problem.

there is no systemic risk here, gentlemen. the world’s materials are the spoils of a tournament system where every tiny town and village are in an existential contest for the right to continue toiling for the world class city to broker their land and labor.

every special relationship has a special end.

you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

if you also miss 100% of the shots you do take, maybe this isn’t your game.

also what bozo makes being a quantitative trader into a username?

yeah, the “universal healthcare would benefit whites more” is one of those positions that is completely divorced from the data.

the biggest killers and disabling conditions in the US are, surprise, driven by a shitty food system which preys upon people with reduced social and economic power. diabetes and heart disease rates incredible, and they keep going up. and the rates are much higher among the poor and minority communities. those are the communities with limited / no access to healthcare, routine testing, and interventions that can reduce risk and buy time for those affected to come up with strategies to avoid early death and permanent disability.

Me applying for a job:

“I didn’t come here to listen to any of you, I came to tell you all how it’s going to be. Here it is, you are going to choose me and I am going to handle all this shit. #BratSummerXanax”

“Did you just say a hashtag out loud?”

“I’m speaking.”

Palestinian people: famously not known for living in a “real world” where there are life and death consequences to abstract political policy decisions.

Average lemmittor: very well versed in how serious adult life can be, brunch conversationalist, and RBG themed funkopop afficionado.

lol, the end

for a while, I used to use some alarm app that would pull from a “station” of my curated music choices until one morning I woke up to the John Carpenter spoken word intro at the beginning of “Tech Noir” by Gunship and had this really surreal moment where my emergent cognition was engaged with it as actual revealed information and I felt myself becoming existentially terrified before I suddenly snapped awake and laughed it off.

but I didn’t like that whiplash as a way to wake up, so I went back to some regular ass alarm shit.

i mean, harris’ whole thing is being on board for biden’s program, because she was too unpopular to even exist in the primaries. they both live for the cop & carceral state so hard, and that is a heinous stink. hildawg was taking money from the private prison companies, getting defensive when it was pointed out to her campaign back in 2016 with similar-to-harris disingenuous dismissals like “i take money from everybody, it doesn’t mean anything.” yes, massive capital formations strategically dismantled any barriers to funneling money to campaigns via grown-in-a-lab court cases like Citizens United and now give hundreds of millions to candidates for literally no reason. that was her pat answer. just like harris’ “it was a debate” laugh at Colbert over her almost seeming like a real person at the debates for a few minutes.

these two stand head and shoulders above socdem careerists like Liz “The Snake” Warren. to be clear, Warren sucks. she 100% betrayed the socdem movement during the 2020 primaries during the ratfuck and we all rightfully hate on her for this, but her rhetoric was anti-finance capital and she did conceive of and spearhead the creation of the CFPB which has gone after some real scumbags. if it were her running against trump and she weren’t blasting hasbara talking points like a wind-up alarm clock every 24 hours, i could imagine throwing a vote her way just to support anybody to the left of . not saying i would for sure, but i would think about it.

honestly, within the dem party, i would be surprised if less than 50% of those that hold some kind of state level office or have run as a local level candidate aren’t pro-medicare for all, but they have been coached and handled into staying on some vaguely lukewarm messaging for national policy in order to advance. it is a problem of the party that grooms & chooses rising stars based on vibes. it keeps them pointless, molded as nihilist careerists like Harris or Beto. if the party really wanted to, i have no doubt they could find some mid 40s year old public school teacher who ran for schoolboard on the democrat ticket in some dysfunctional red state that would blow the doors off everybody we’ve ever heard of just by being too frustrated to not say whatever they’re thinking and too jaded from trying to teach biology to some Children of the Corn ass community in West Jerkfuck, Oklahoma to ever give an inch to a republican politician.

i guess my point is that the function of the party in “fielding candidates” for national office is to find the unlikeable shitheels that will not rock the boat and that need the party campaign apparatus to get into highest office. they see what trump has done to their republican colleagues, and they do not want anything remotely like an insurgent candidate taking a wrecking ball to their tightly controlled farming and scouting program.

this is an area of interest to me and scholarship exists but is thin, because pan-indigenous studies is… not a thing? I am a reader and not a watcher, so I haven’t watched the video and a earlier comment gives the impression that this is addressed: indigenous peoples are not a monolith. I think being in a settler culture confuses this simple statement, because the settler culture lacks cultural memory of place and traditional ecological knowledge so we see commonalities or patterns among indigenous peoples in their land use ethics that we lack… probably by virtue of the fact that we’re all dislocated bozos who just showed up and don’t know what the fuck happened here 500+ years ago.

maybe in a thousand years we will have traditions of “don’t dig there” or “don’t fuck with those mountains” or “these forests should be burned seasonally” or “don’t live year round in that valley” too.

anyway, a cool book that tries to be comprehensive in its gaze into pre-columbian exchange land management and use of the Americas is 1491. it’s dated now, but it was really impressive for its time. it very much contradicts the notion of a “pristine nature” inhabited by indigenous, rather one they managed intensely and to such a profound degree, European explorers and other first contact descriptions could not conceive it. another environmental history book that isn’t so much focused on the indigenous is “Where The Sky Began” about the tall grass prairie. I think 1491 opened my mind up to notions of humans as a keystone species acting deliberately, and that now colors descriptions of places and land use patterns where people lived prior to their “settling” by whites.

it doesn’t hurt that he only runs against the worst and most unlikeable women the Democrats can find.

i think “civil war” has become a placeholder for violent destabilization. if there’s some other word for it when trust in institutions is so low that the default response to “another guy walked into a building and opened fire on everybody” is being unfazed, americans don’t know it. everybody who isn’t angry is at least on edge, brittle. and the political system that was meant to diffuse revolutionary energy into the ballotbox has only surgically removed the revolutionary focus, leaving us with a rising tide of energy, occasionally foaming and bubbling over into violence in the workplace, at the school, at the club, in the home, and on the streets.

and the elections create swells of this unfocused agitation, which no longer ebb after the election as aggrieved factions now claim “the system is rigged!” because of course it is rigged, not that either faction wants to reform this. they want to manage the rigging and they are bothered by the other faction fiddling with the controller, because its our turn and mom said this was a two player game.

• impersonating police for volcel police.
• inciting jazz music
• gay sorcery

it is fuckin’ me up how they think this is a brag. or that it undercuts Trump’s brand.