Fear and culturally defined gender roles
Trans woman (recently out), still learning the ropes. Not my real name nor initials, want to avoid harassment as best I can.
- 1 Post
- 19 Comments
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Men of lemmy, what would you do if you woke up female one dayEnglish
2·2 years agoI suppose I should give the context that I recently discovered I’m trans/nonbinary. So being able to transition without the risks inherent in hormones and surgery, and to transition more completely than any of those, would be cause for me for celebration.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Men of lemmy, what would you do if you woke up female one dayEnglish
1410·2 years agoCelebrate. And autogynophilic comments are kinda gross tbh.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•If you could ask one question and get a 100% true answer, what would it be and why?English
5·2 years agoTruthful but not guaranteed complete isn’t so useful…
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Asklemmy@lemmy.ml•Will the world ever stop being anti-intellectual?English
101·2 years agoYes, you’re absolutely right. There’s a lot of hopelessness and apathy, and it’s only helping those who commit the atrocities.
But before you judge, I’ll state that I’ve been a member of an activist group, progressivecoders dot org, for the last 5 years. I’ve worked on various projects, but overall watched the world situation get worse anyway. Even before that, I’ve done my best to be an activist and ally.
I’ve also been in the software industry for 30 years. I’ve watched it go from a genuinely useful and interesting information processing and delivery system, to a completely shittified ad delivery and surveillance tool. I’ve had to participate in it myself, I was actually part of the team that delivered the first animated GIF that made advertising that much more annoying. I worked for several of the big internet monopolies, and realized that it wasn’t an accomplishment, they just crack the whip that much harder, and I have CPTSD in exchange for free lunches and massages.
So yeah, I’m starting to give up. But it’s not for lack of trying.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Asklemmy@lemmy.ml•Will the world ever stop being anti-intellectual?English
1034·2 years agoBy eliminating critical thinking, and polarizing everyone, those in power can do whatever they want, and the rest of us won’t be sufficiently organized to stop it.
I’m seeing positive signs though, labor unions getting successful settlements, and more awareness. So maybe?
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldOPto
Off My Chest@lemmy.world•Gender dysphoria and self harmEnglish
42·2 years agoI see from all the downvotes that there’s very little empathy here. Thanks everyone.
There’s a science fiction story, I think by Cory Doctorow, in which one of the technologies was gender reassignment restrooms. Go in, spend (unspecified, but not too terribly long, since characters talked about going in preparation for activities that night) time, and emerge with the new gender as though born to it. And my first thought was, yes, I would pay any amount of money to have that available to me. Like genderdysphoria.fyi says, if you think about it at all, you’re already thinking about it 100% more than most cis people ever do.
deleting just in case it causes me legal hassles later.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Fellow home owners, are you ready for the housing market to crash?English
4·2 years agoI’m hoping we can minimize the joblessness and hardship (which is already happening). People are unionizing, despite the best efforts of the owners of even businesses that had a progressive reputation, and the strikes are getting results! It gives me a lot of hope for fairness without the reset that could lead to mass homelessness and poverty. But having been around the block a few times, I know it will be a close thing.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•Fellow home owners, are you ready for the housing market to crash?English
163·2 years agoCapitalism is a Ponzi scheme. Build up debt, and pay it off by transferring it to the next generation of suckers.
I look forward to the crash, and hope it’s not just a reset of the same system.
Words of wisdom. Fear is the wrong reason to stick around, and even if I saved the marriage it would be a poison in my gut. If I really want to save it, I need to commit one way or the other
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Off My Chest@lemmy.world•The staggeringly-idiotic company Brother (printers) won't let you update your email (which is your account name), but also won't let you register the same printer on a new account (with the new email)English
3·2 years agoWe have an older Brother printer, and they now insist, even though there’s a USB port, that you register with them to print over wifi. There is no driver for USB that I could find. There is an app that will let you print over USB, but it’s buggy and very limited in function.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world•what's something your company did that totally killed morale?English
4·2 years agoI haven’t gotten a raise in 10 years (since I turned 50). In fact, switching jobs often resulted in a decrease in salary. From 2018 to today, counting inflation, my effective salary has dropped over 30%.
And no, I’m not mediocre at my job. At one Major Internet Monopoly I wrote a script to refactor several million lines of code, to remove redundancy in some autogenerated structs, with only one major outage that I fixed in a few hours. I than proceeded to modify a data display and write a coefficient calculation engine for an inhouse experiment that ended up saving them tens of thousands of dollars. After the experiment I leveraged the ML platform to generate reports for the data scientists in hours, where they were prepared to take weeks. My evaluation for that period? One step below Meets Expectations.
At another Major Internet Monopoly I basically implemented a major feature to the mobile app, while still in my 90 day onboarding period. Under extreme schedule pressure. And while the other engineers “helpfully” redesigned my code in code review. Once I missed a release cycle because a reviewer blocked my submission because I forgot to add a period at the end of a comment. I’m still burned out from that one.
I’m at a much better company now, at $10k below the Major Internet Monopoly above. In 2 years I got one 5k bonus, but still no raise. And we’re a startup struggling with the current economy fuckery, so no real point asking for a raise.
Sorry, that was 3 things.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Technology@lemmy.world•Philips Hue will force users to upload their data to Hue cloudEnglish
12·2 years agoI built my own, based on https://github.com/rmd6502/esp_lights
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Asklemmy@lemmy.ml•What human power-ups/power-downs would you choose? Why?English
3·2 years agoThis precisely. Maybe “us vs them” was useful when we lived in caves and resources were limited, but now, we should theoretically have enough food and housing that everyone could be comfortable.
But, Eisenhower’s “military industrial complex” has bogarted all the resources, and emphasized tribalism by saying it’s really “their” fault, where “they” are anyone not like “us”. When we’re all struggling together.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
Technology@lemmy.world•I hate how everything requires you to download a shitty proprietary data harvesting app nowadays when everything can be done just fine without an app.English
17·2 years agoI took an old phone and fully reset it to use for all these shitware apps. I’ve looked into buying an anonymous SIM card so it won’t be at all connected to me, but the underlying assumption seems to be if you want that you must be a drug dealer. Best I’ve found is mysudo, which requires payment, but it’s really not much, and only stores the minimum on their side. Gives you an anonymous email and phone number. The other problem with all these apps is the engineers are given at best half the time they need to do a good job, so they’re always buggy, insecure, and have a shitty UI. But some project manager managed to show Impact and get a bonus.
bobbi_d2@lemmy.worldto
TwoXChromosomes@slrpnk.net•Help me find the words to explain my husband’s ignorant behaviourEnglish
1·2 years agoNewly minted trans woman here, still learning the ropes. And also undiagnosed ADHD (i.e. I show the symptoms but never paid a professional). But yeah, I’ve had similar arguments with my wife, and I ended up writing myself notes and setting reminders, cause it’s worth it to stay married.

I think others have mentioned this, but I’m disturbed that the article seems more concerned about guns than about the way our society and culture fails older men.
Sure it gets a mention but omg guns.