Krem [he/him]

i call it monorrhea because i only have a single butthóle

the hills have bis

when i want to get that nicotine high but i also want my mouth and clothes to smell like burnt cat food

maybe i only had shit cigars because the only times i had them were when old dudes gave me cheap cigarillos playing pool.

i like burmese cheroots though, you can get them in yunnan for very cheap and they’re smooth and funky

live in a house built inside a giant aquarium. spend the daily hours that normal people need to work inventing a new language. hire a director and finance 10 giant schlockfest movies about farting aliens or australian cowboys on mars or evil dutch people that eat chicken, and release them to theaters because you have the financial power to do that. fund every stupid kickstarter for shitty game ideas that were posted ten years ago. become a vineyard owner guy just to outcompete dumbass washed up rockstars with vineyards, then crash the vineyard economy. anything.

why does this look like a screenshot from Peep show

pede show

“pink drug with cocaine character”

meanwhile in the us it’s “pink cokayn™”

first thing on the agenda once the US stops being a superpower is to wall it off, turn it into a giant biodome or outdoor museum. they will not be able to affect the world again, their opinions don’t need to be heard by citizens of the earth, but we can still study them in their natural habitat and visit them to see curious things like people driving “trucks” to the “store” to by a “gallon” of malk

i saw a biyadi showroom on the corner of like the busiest downtown area in a major european city last year. pretty cool.

coming for your upper middle class euros

whistle whistle

waay oh oh waayoh

stock video of 27-year-olds going on a road trip, an old couple hugging each other on a patio, a kid playing with a dog

life is beautiful. life is precious. here at Bthaghlmart we believe in pouring bleach on top of unsold yet still edible food. we pay our shop staff as low as legally possible and donate millions to the Holden Bloodfeast campaign and to the War Crimes foundation. the sun rises on a new day. the world is full of wonder.

klinky klink

waaay oh waayoh

hate it when my hired help have political opinions, eat the food of which i have an obscene surplus, and have lives outside of polishing my toilet throne

the White Elephant building is cool as hell. because chongqing has no level surfaces, the ground floor on one side of the building is like seven stories up from the ground floor on the river side. you climb up and down school building-style stairwells that twirl around each other like a very low-poly double helix. each floor has apartments converted to coffee shops and majiang dens (in CQ and sichuan they play with giant majiang tiles the size of cigarette packs for some reason. pretty cool).

it’s got a rustic 80s concrete-and-tile charm like many old buildings in china, just bigger and weirder. like a less dystopian version of mirador mansion/chongqing mansions in hong kong.

but i thought there were no remotely walkable cities outside like NYC. where are all these 7s located?

like in every city i’ve been to around the world, a convenience store is something you walk to on the way to something else, or next to the train/subway station, or one minute from your home/job/school. it’s not in a mall or a gas station

the US has convenience stores?

750,000 yuan

that’s like 20x a normal working class salary. but maybe people in SH are paid better, maybe it’s only 10x normal shanghainese.

so even if your salary is halved, you’re still making several times the salary of normal people, including normal office workers. you’re still able to afford a nice three-room apartment with a view, go out to restaurants every day, buy fancy finance boy clothes, get the latest xiaomi gadgets at wanda, go on yearly vacations around the world, and still be able to put a few thousand kuai in the bank every month. what a whiner.^___

edit apparently this article claims the average salary in SH is as high as 12k? not sure what the median salary is in that case because 12k already seems really high. but “little chen” would still be making double that after he got nerfed so still a whiner

so many good IG accounts have been banned the last few months. literal fascists of course are allowed to run free.

society for cutting up musk

saxophone speakers in the saxosphere

factually incorrect. naples is named such because of the many naple trees local to the area

my relatively new samsung started displaying the water droplet icon that makes charging it impossible. usually it went away after a while (a few hours) but since the last update it just stayed on permanently, effectively making the phone unusable. had to replace the usb port.

my huawei was fine for like 5 years (still usable now because i had to go back to using it), samsung started doing planned obsolecence after less that a year. go to hell samsung.

civilization 5 in space is not very interesting. alpha centauri, civ 2.5 in space, was much more interesting. if you set a game in a sci fi or fantasy universe you have to do some creativity and worldbuilding and show/tell the player who these factions are. civ5 in space didn’t, it’s just kind of bland