Moving away: close your bank account, you must live in the country to have a bank account here.
Moving to: you must open a bank account here, we don’t accept foreign IBANs
Using a banking application: you must have US tech spyware on your phone, otherwise we don’t consider it secure.
We need a European federation. I want to be able to move somewhere with my European bank account, get paid by European employer, pay with my European money using a European payment system without having to tell some other non-European country all about it.


Yes you can. Did you tried calling or sending and email asking how to proceed? Just go there physically, it’s the easiest way.
Years ago you could open account in commerzbank in germany via registered letter. I did it and i never lived in germany. I had some problems with the slow mail company… But that’s another story.
Is it impossible for you to accept that we have different experiences? I called my bank after moving and they told me my bank account will be closed if when I formally change my address. Another bank told me I need to pay an extra fee for creating a bank account from abroad.
And your suggestion to “just go there physically”… am I made of gold? You think I can just buy a plane ticket, fly across the continent just to create a bank account? Are you going to tell me to buy a second home close to the bank too?
It’s like your argument is “well, it worked for me, so nobody else can have problems”. It’s like the child playing hide and seek, closing their eyes and thinking nobody can see them that hasn’t grasped the concept that other entities with different experiences exist. What are you? French?
You wrote:
Which is completely false. It’s not as easy as if you are a resident but it’s not impossible.
No, and it’s totally fine we have different experiences, but don’t say it’s impossible since that’s not the case. That was my point.