Maybe because nobody would listen, or care about what he went through.
Or the inverse, that instead of just listening they made it something bigger than it had to be, trying to “fix it” when all he really needed was someone to listen for a few minutes, maybe a lap to lay on, but instead he got a “solution” he never asked for
maybe a lap to lay on
Couldn’t find the exact right GIF, but The Boys came to mind.
lol I love that show, and homelander has some serious mommy issues, but I’m unsure if you’re suggesting that laying your head on your partner’s lap is strange or some sort of weakness
No, I’m saying it made me think of that scene.
Or the inverse, that instead of just listening they made it something bigger than it had to be…
Or maybe just what OC said… Or sometimes, there’s just no one to “listen” to. Or no “lap to lay on”. Or the laps that exist are so fragile that they would collapse at the weight of just your words. Or sometimes, there’s really something that needs fixing…
“Nobody would listen” yet people (not just men) don’t go to therapy where someone’s not only PAID to listen, but to help you challenge those cognitive distortions and apply the skills gained to heal with people that do want to listen without the payment. There’s 8 billion people in the world. It’s simply not true “nobody would listen or care.”
Edit: 7cups.com is free.
Sure. I gotta pay just to talk to people. Love this society. I think I will just isolate for a bit like the meme says.
This.
Who can afford to have an expert misunderstand them, hour after expensive hour, and all the while risk being labeled instead of helped?
Nah. Now that Medicaid/care is dead, the US is about to see a whole lotta deaths as a result. (Neglect, escapism, etc.)
Fuck these Nazis (in the face with a brick, preferably)
Is there a handy cheat sheet of topics you can’t bring up with your therapist if you want them to maintain confidentiality?
Hmm. Honestly? I’m unsure if promoting that sort of withholding would be moral, despite it seeming wise to be aware of. Generally, anything said pro is required to report on, but that’s merely a technicality and in no way implies a suggestion to hide truth from the law. Ahem.
if you are about to kill yourself or others, your therapist HAS to get outside help - he can’t just let it happen. Please note that there is a difference (and it’s not even subtle) between discussing thoughts of suicide and murder vs. you are about to do the same. Calmly talking with your therapist about those thoughts will not be an issue; being severely agitated and shouting about who has it coming surely is. The specific wording is that there must be imminent or inevitable risk and that a specific victim can be identified - to be fair, if i were to be in such a state, i’d prefer a mental hospital stay over hurting someone anyway.
They also have a duty to report if you tell them you are about to commit a crime (please note that this does not include stuff in the past), and they have a duty to report in the case of a minor telling them that they are in an abusive home situation. That’s the gist of it. There are some state laws like in California where, should you be in the situation where the prosecution wants to give you a death sentence, they can call your therapist as a witness; or when you admit to viewing CSAM. You can read up details here.
I’ve discussed suicidal thoughts, murderous thoughts, psychiatric episodes, past abuse i’ve experienced (passive AND active - people who get abused tend to do the same to others, especially as a child, which still haunted me nearly 30 years later), situations where i hurt others in my past (real and imagined), illegal substance abuse and addiction, theft, and a lot of other shit that happened in my life with my therapist.
As long as you don’t show disclose intent to harm yourself or others then you’re fine. Note that ideation is not intent but where exactly that line lies will depend on the therapist.
Generally speaking, saying that you have thoughts of suicide is fine, but saying that you went out and bought a tank of inert gas, some hoses, and a big plastic bag, will get you put on a psych hold.
I know this at least doesn’t include if you’re discussing child abuse and don’t intend on harming anyone yourself. But I’m more worried about the stuff I don’t know about. And to be perfectly honest, the situation in my country is so bad that I don’t think every desire to harm others is necessarily unwell.
And to be perfectly honest, the situation in my country is so bad that I don’t think every desire to harm others is necessarily unwell.
It’s definitely not. But once again the line is between stating desire and stating intent. You won’t get put on a hold for saying you want someone dead. You will get put on a hold for saying you are going to kill someone and have a plan to do so. Somewhere between those two points is the threshhold where some mental health professionals will report you and some won’t.
Always frame your suicidal thoughts as ideation. I don’t even have to say I feel suicidal anymore, I just tell my therapist I have had ideation a lot lately, and she knows what I mean.
I’ve had the same therapist for four years (I must be ongoing for my situation). She was my 5th therapist attempt in two years. I hired her for my son initially, he didn’t take to her, but we just clicked, and now been with her a very long time.
Everything remains confidential unless you tell them you are going to hurt yourself or someone else, they will ask if you have a plan if you say you intend to hurt yourself or others.
Finding someone you trust is key, someone who gets you. I like that my therapist has shared with me, she herself, has ADHD and understands a lot of the struggles I go through.
If you want more information, look into what being a “mandated reporter” involves. They are mandated reporters.
Noting here, for the first time in my life, if we take away the stress of current events, my depression is technically in remission for the first time in my life. No meds, just good ole coping and love within my circle :)
Therapy is not about talking to people, it’s about helping you be best version of yourself. About helping you help yourself. Instead of continue doing whatever you think you’re doing, with isolation and self harm and constant loathing.
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You can also punch yourself in the nuts completely for free, but why would you do any of that, it’s the opposite of helping
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You’ve never been to one, you’ve never even saw one at work, you only saw some weird representation at a bad tv show.
I dont understand how a therapist could help me be a better version of myself? They dont know me and they likely arent any better of a person themselves. I can only imagine its generic self help advice parroted to for hundreds of dollars as hour.
Therapy is only useful for people that need help working through a disorder.
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I don’t know what’s up with the therapists in the US, but i can report that my therapy sessions consist of a lot more than just mirroring people, and shit like violating confidentiality doesn’t fly because it would mean for the therapist to lose his license. My experience were multiple phases - the first is to build up trust, because without it there is no reason to continue. It also contains analytical approaches: what are the stressors in your life, what were the defining experiences of your life and how did you cope with it.
Later on you slowly start modifying the path your train of thought takes. That’s slow, hard work, and often it can be that you realize that you were at this exact point in the discussion before, but you took another way there - that’s sometimes frustrating, but on one hand it shows how interconnected some seemingly different issues are, and OTOH you come to realize that it took your whole life to build those (sometimes faulty) pathways of thinking; of course it will take quite some time to form new pathways in your mind.
And during the whole time you try to find practical and healthy ways to cope with current or recurring issues.
I am blessed with a pretty good therapist, which gave me a lot of stability and healthier ways to deal with my emotions.
Thank you for writing this amongst the vast number of negative responses here.
Your steps listed are pretty on par with my experience with therapy too.
- Not everyone can afford a therapist
- Not all therapists are equal
- Just because there are 8 billion people in the world doesn’t mean there is someone there for you that will genuinely listen to you
But people with your attitude is exactly what I’m talking about.
There are sliding scale agencies, some taking on clients for free. Take care.
Aaand of course you are not a man.
Can you simply accept that you may not know what other people go through?
You don’t have to be a man to understand the male experience. We’re very vocal about it.
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Not all men are the same. All humans vary in life.
Volunteering armchair psychologist in
.world?Who really wants to know of something someone went through without it being beneficial for the victim? Are you going to commit to a gofundme?
Don’t publish in a vacuum, praxis mental care, for those that really consent.
Brii Ash, wasn’t doing so in insta.
I’m sorry, what?
Therapy is a two way street. The respondent already proved they prefer to hand the hurt & sick to extortionists.
In english, please?
Y’all made me regret it last time I told you, so…
Confessing your problems to a self-proclaimed mentally unstable redhead seems like a good way to make them worse.
Hey. Hol’up. That’s surprisingly specific. Are you me? That’s been one of my main mistakes throughout the last, oh, say 30 years? 😅🤔
Account name on OP’s meme 🙂
Ohhh. Phew. I mean, it’s one thing to have conversations with internal yous, but external anonymous ones? Heh. Probably not healthy? 🤣
And their Steam profile is like: Factorio 832 hours played 117 hours in the last two weeks
832 hours… What is this kindergarten?
If you don’t have 5,000 hours in factorio, can you even call yourself an engineer?
What if you’re an engineer who knows about Factorio and also knows a few things about your own psyche, and therefore have 0.0 hours played?
Then you’re a smarter person than I, my friend.
This is why I warn my friends not to play factorio. I’m not strong enough to lead by example, but I can definitely live as a warning.
I kind of want to try it. Especially once we get closer to winter. I could test my ability to still work on some planned indoor tech projects while Factorio is installed on my computer.
I bet I’d pass that test.
… unless preying on such hubris is how the factory gets you! Maybe the real test is knowing the only way to win is to not play at all!
I’m assuming satisfactory also applies. Any game you might whip out spreadsheets tbh.
THE FACTORY MIST GROW DEPRESSION BE DAMNED
Look, it was exhausting explaining a similar situation in the past and we just don’t feel like going through the explanation phase right after dealing with the bad thing.
I don’t tell people things because they weaponize it against me later. Not handing you knives to stab me with no matter how you frame it.
I think you might need better mates. Unless the things you’re doing is kicking dogs.
Also dog kicker better watch out who he shares that info with before he accidentally makes friends with John Wick.
if they’re gonna do that why are you hanging out with these people
I left a new friendship real fast because he said, “I take pleasure in mocking my friends.”
And I told him, “I’m not interested in that level of immaturity” and he texts me every few months with random YouTube videos left on seen.
I’m too old for this shit.
I never could quite understand how to describe the experience of “clicking” or “meshing” with someone. Now I realize its got to do with the mutual ability to differentiate between communication from an emotional thought and that from a logical thought.
When I’m not clicking with someone they’re probably regularly misattributing and applying the opposed source of communication and acting on it. When someone assigns an emotional thought to the logic bin it feels like backstabbing, like the thought is weaponized against me while I was being vulnerable.
Anyways, that’s why i talk to you as little as possible Steve.
Because nobody cares. And if he does start talking about it, he’s unmanly. Yes, to women too.
Yeah. Those advocates for gender norms who says girls can be anything too will immediately tell you to “man up” at the first sign of weakness. How about we knock out gender norms both ways?
Guess what im doing with my problems now? And im also not sharing my solutions to said problems after theyre resolved because itll be a “why didnt you handle that sooner?” Or some other bullshit about how you could have prevented it from even starting
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Ah yes, their support network refusing to support them if they dont fit the mold someone else has instilled upon them. Definitely self inflicted.
Translation: “Something happened in the part of my life I don’t tell you about, but I handled it.”
Walter?
Put your dick away waltuh
“Wh-why do you gotta b-be such a, a bitch all the time?!”
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This post describes me down to the letter. Friends have issues with it but over time they’ve come to understand it’s just how I am. In men, its stoic. In women, you’re a cold bitch.
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That sounds tiring, doesn’t wearing that heavy of a mask constantly start itching the soul?
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Long before my time, my WW2 veteran grandfather checked himself into the psych ward at the local hospital, spent several weeks there, then discharged himself voluntarily and never spoke of it again. The mental health stigma was real.
They were Isekaid and turned into a slime that had sex with everything that moved.
But they returned now and don’t want to talk about the orgies. They miss em.
r u me?
everything that moved.
Why limit yourself?
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It’s fine. We’re fine.
Look if I tell you about my impending suicide it’s going to make everything worse for both of us
Not suicide. But one time, I ate something so bad I diarrhea’d nonstop. Practically ghosted my friend for a whole week because I was quietly dying from pooping my insides. Oh, and the SMELL.
Anyways, when I saw them again, the thought did cross my mind. Easier to tell them suicide rather than explain that I couldn’t stop projectile shitting everywhere.
We do the same shit:
Girl, you don’t want to know. Anyways, I saw that new hairstyle! Who’s doing yours‽
Would you rather me tell you about the tank of helium and the bag and hoses I bought and then returned, or do you just want to go back to playing cards and getting on with things?
Made the right choice BTW, stay strong.
I don’t know if it was strength or not. I fell in love. Went to visit a friend I have known for 20 years but never met in person. Intended for it to be a goodbye. Plan was to go see him, get back home, mail the letters, drive to the ocean, and watch the sea as it happened. Even bought clear bags to make sure I could see it.
Fell in love with him while I was there. Not sure if that’ll work out or not, but it gave me a reason to live. And if it doesn’t work out, it means there might be other reasons to live still out there. I had only ever had the one reason, it was an honest to surprise to find out there could be another.
The key is that you persist. I call it survival or I like to say, despite whatever is going on, “yet I still persist”. Finding new and different reasons to help you maintain this persistence are also very important. Stay here don’t leave. That’s it.
I hope you continue to find new reasons.
Exactly. I couldn’t agree more.
When killing yourself the right thing to do is to set it up some piano wire in such a way that you’re able to sever your own head, AFTER supergluing your hands to the side of your head.
Its crucial that you have a friend that’s in on it so that they can remove the piano wire when they “stumble” on to your dead body, and the investigators struggle to figure out how and why your ripped your own head off.
Do me a favor and practice what you preach.
i thought i was the only one who thought of that…
<3
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