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OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca to Political Memes@lemmy.world · 2 years ago

If I can find the clip of him saying he f**ked a couch.. Why couldn't a professional?

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If I can find the clip of him saying he f**ked a couch.. Why couldn't a professional?

lemmy.ca

OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca to Political Memes@lemmy.world · 2 years ago
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  • workerONE@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    “I did not have sectional relations with that futon” -JD Vance, probably

    • Nachorella@lemmy.sdf.org
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      2 years ago

      quality pun

  • Thteven@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    JD is a joke but that couch needs to calm down.

    • rubicon@lemmy.ca
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      2 years ago

      Yeah I was judging him harsh until I saw that

    • jaybone@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      You should have seen her at couchella.

      • BleatingZombie@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        No arms were resting on her, if you know what I mean. Doilies off and everything

    • CptEnder@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

  • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:

    https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/

    Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”

    • jordanlund@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      Bonus if it has a dolphin on it.

      • zcd@lemmy.ca
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        2 years ago

      • dohpaz42@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

      • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        image

  • Toneswirly@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    Gyatt damn boy, that couch is thicc

  • Cosmos7349@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    there’s no way this guy makes it all the way to election lol

    • Nastybutler@lemmy.world
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      2 years ago

      I predict he’ll drop out, or be forced out, in 2 Scaramuccis

      • brianary
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        2 years ago

        What’s that in Trusses?

        • Cosmos7349@lemmy.world
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          2 years ago

          For our UK friends, 2 Scaramuccis is ~ 0.5 Trusses. It’s a fairly precise unit of measure. For other international friends, this around 20-22 days.

      • sartalon@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Nice call back!

    • I'll be on ShareMySims@lemmy.dbzer0.com@sh.itjust.works
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      2 years ago

      At first glance I read that as “erection”, and tbf you’re probably right either way lmao

      On a side note, I’m out of the loop on the origins of the couch fucking gag, and am really not sure I want to look it up lol can anyone give me the gist (unless this meme is it, in which case, did someone set him up for this, or is it really just “horny loser confuses sofa for juicy rear”?)

      • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        An amusing read

        • RandomlyRight@sh.itjust.works
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          Even the meme sites are better at clearing up misinformation now than most media, lol

        • I'll be on ShareMySims@lemmy.dbzer0.com@sh.itjust.works
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          2 years ago

          Love it, thanks!

        • acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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          2 years ago

          What about the cats?

      • Rentlar@lemmy.ca
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        2 years ago

        JD Vance having wrote in his book that he fucked a couch is misinformation originating from Twitter, but it is also Lemmy’s shitpost trend of the month.

        What made this one special is that AP retracted a fact check on it since it was published without meeting its guidelines and was trying to debunk the wrong question (It was debunking whether Vance fucked a couch instead of whether he wrote in his book that he did). But that fueled the fire to the stupidly hilarious chain of memes.

      • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        A random Twitter user made up some bullshit and then everyone thought it was funny and obsessively repeated it. I don’t find it funny or helpful myself, though

        • StereoTrespasser@lemmy.world
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          But you’re doing it wrong. You have to make juvenile, belittling jokes for your tribe while decrying the belittling, juvenile jokes made by the other tribe.

          • Naich@lemmings.world
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            2 years ago

            Good forbid anyone might have a bit of a laugh at the expense of the person who literally wants to get elected in order to opress them.

            Some people do not deserve respect. Especially pompous wannabe tyrants.

            • Azzu@lemm.ee
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              It’s still not different though, only the perceived righteousness is.

              • Naich@lemmings.world
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                2 years ago

                You should have heard what people were saying about Hitler during WW2. They even wrote songs about his testicles. Outrageous disrespect.

        • Cryptagionismisogynist@lemmy.worldBannedBanned from community
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          Did you think Ted Cruz being the Zodiac Killer was funny?

          • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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            2 years ago

            Yes. Because it was absurd and not at all believable. I never had to Google it to see if it was true or based on truth.

            • Cryptagionismisogynist@lemmy.worldBannedBanned from community
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              That’s just because the world was less crazy back then. Normally you’d know this was a joke but reality has been so absurd

              • TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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                The world might seem more absurd now, but it is absolutely more believable that he made some awkward remark about couches once that came out weird. So I looked it up and no, just some idiot lying flat out. That’s why it really annoys me people won’t rise an inch above Republicans on this. I mean honestly it barely would be funny if he literally did allude to fucking a couch.

                • Cryptagionismisogynist@lemmy.worldBannedBanned from community
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                  Lol what? I knew immediately he didn’t fuck a couch, and would need proof to believe it. Have better internet hygiene ffs. That’s on you.

    • zcd@lemmy.ca
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      At this rate I’m thinking that applies to Trump as well, he looks ready to quit and run to Russia

    • graycube@lemmy.world
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      That is what we said in Ohio when he was running for senate.

  • CForsyth@lemmy.ca
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    I took this meme too seriously

  • Mango@lemmy.world
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  • x00z@lemmy.world
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    Who cares though?

    I’ve fucked some more questionable things around my house.

    • JPSound@lemmy.world
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      That’s not a very polite way of speaking about your wife.

  • tired_n_bored@lemmy.world
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    I despise Vance and Trump, the utmost trash of humanity, but this comes from a fake news. I used to see hate from fake news only from Republicans

    • madcaesar@lemmy.world
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      I have no problem fake news being weaponized against assholes that do nothing but lie and spread fake news.

      • AeonFelis@lemmy.world
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        You should have a problem with that. We should all have a problem with that. We don’t want this to become a battle of which side can make up more ridiculous claims about the other side.

  • Ok_imagination@lemmy.world
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    I’m confused about all the couch fucking comments.

    • elbucho@lemmy.world
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      It’s because of this.

      • undercrust@lemmy.ca
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        Holy shit the end of that story makes it so much better hahahahah

      • Meeech@lemmy.world
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        Vance actually had sectional relations

        Holy shit that’s gold.

      • RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world
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        Nowhere in the book does that anecdote appear — and certainly not on the pages mentioned.

        The “journalist” wrote the article without reading the book.

        • elbucho@lemmy.world
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          I mean, would you? First of all, it’s far simpler to just do a ctrl-f on various keywords, like “couch”, “sofa”, or wink wink “LOVEseat”. Secondly, they don’t make nearly enough money to willingly poison their minds reading that absolute garbage.

          • Lianodel@ttrpg.network
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            That’s what I found funny about it. It’s something that could have been resolved in an instant of people said either “Yes, it’s on page whatever whatever,” or “We just read it, and no, it’s not there.” It took longer to resolve because of how few people have read it recently, or were willing to read it now.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    That is one fuckable looking couch.

    • AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world
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      Looks like two pushed together to me, but yeah

  • feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world
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    she cute

  • Kashmir@midwest.social
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    Very supple looking couch.

  • AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip
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    it just seems like not a big deal in comparison to everything else happening

    ive done way weirder stuff

    idk i feel bad making fun about this

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      ive done way weirder stuff

      Well now you need to share about the stuff you did that’s weirder than fucking a couch with an inside-out latex glove between the cushions.

    • AShadyRaven@lemmy.zip
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      sike haha you fell for it

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